Dreams are made in heaven

It started with a dream. Mommy once saw a mother and son walk hand in hand in a park one evening, and she knew she wanted that scenario. Both are two old souls absorbed in their elements yet totally concious of each other. Their hands bond them together. The boy wasn't mucking a racket - he was as calm as his mom. Mommy was very young and single then but she had always been very sure of the things she wanted in life. One of that was that image. And it played on on her mind till today.

When she got married with Papa she wasn't sure she's cut out to be a good mom. She was always tired and frustrated with her circumstances. She felt noone understood her. But Allah is great. He told her to be patient and be a good mom to my half sisters. Sometimes she doesn't know what to do, but when she speaks to Allah, she felt better. Things got better from year to year, but still there's no me. When the nights are very very still and quiet, and I know she wasn't thinking of anyone else, I whispered to her. I told her I would be coming. I don't know how I would come, but I will. I just want her to always pray for me.

I know she's scared. She's always so analytical of everything. What if this...what if that... So last week I pushed her to dial a number. I told her I want to be with her. I only see her from afar, but I think our time to be together is nearing. I don't know whether I will be a boy or a girl, but I want to be with her in physical. Sometimes I get hurt when she wished so hard that I'll turn out a boy, but that's ok mommy. I know you'd still love me as much if I'm a girl. I will make you happy mommy, I promise you.

She made an appointment to see Dr Prashant Nadkarni at Pantai Fertility Centre on Friday next week at 3pm. I will keep you posted on the meeting later okay. Hey, I can't wait to arrive. Meanwhile, I'll make mommy dream of me!